My online friend Candy Feathers, is writing beautiful blogs of her journey through widowhood. This is one which touched me personally. When John was sick, God spoke often to me of trusting Him with every detail of my life because after all, didn’t He care for me more than the little birds (Matthew 6:26)? Visit Candy’s blog www.reflectionsfrommyporchswing.wordpress.com.
Un Novelle Chanson
Un Novelle Chanson:
Guest Post by Candy Feathers
Written April, 2011
“I waited patiently and expectantly for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up out of a horrible pit of tumult and destruction, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock. And He has put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many shall see and be in awe and put their trust and confident reliance in the Lord.” Psalm 40:1-3
When you have lived with a spouse for over thirty-six years, you become as comfortable together as an old pair of favorite shoes. Your marriage “song” is one that has been sung together in harmony for so long that it has become rich in its sameness.
The morning my husband found himself suddenly in heaven our love song together ended, but for almost seventeen months now I have tried alone to keep that sweet song alive. It is impossible for a soprano soloist to sing a song that must be sung only as a duet. The beautiful notes of the harmonious alto are missing and the rich timbre of the notes as the two voices blend together filling the air with glory is impossible.
This morning I listened to a lone bird sing. Birds do not sing duets. They each sing their very own song in solo from the depths of an unfettered heart. That is why this solo voice of mine has not been able to sing. It is fettered by the bands of grief trying to sing a duet that can never be sung again.
“I look at the world and I notice it’s turning while my guitar gently weeps.” George Harrison
The Psalmist David experienced many times of grief in his life. He knew the very depths of this deep, dark pit. He knew what it was like not to be able to feel that God is in that awful pit with him right there and right then. But, David also knew what it was like to finally come out of that pit and he tells us that after God lifted him from that terrible place, He put a NEW SONG – UN NOUVELLE CHANSON – in his mouth – a song of praise to God. And, when those around him heard him sing that new song, they were awed by it.
Lord, You know that I didn’t want the duet Bob and I were singing together of “our song” to ever stop. Its music filled my heart so completely for so long and I am so completely bereft without the sounds of it. David says that after He waited, You lifted him out of the pit of his deep grief and gave him a new song to sing. I ask You to give me the desire to want to sing a new song in solo. Then when that desire comes, give me courage and a voice to sing it with a heart full of praise and adoration for all that You have done for me in the past and all that You are going to do for me on that day and in all the days ahead. I love You, Lord. I can’t sing right now, but I can say that.